So how many of you have read "Wild at Heart?"  Me too.  And I can’t say I really liked it.  You know why?  Because I am not an artist.  I am not a poet.  I don’t tear up at movies.  I have bad hair.  I simply did not get into it that much.  And, as a result, have not been all that into the whole "manly-man" movement in Christendom.

But recently I read a provocative book on the subject, No More Christian Nice Guy, by Paul Coughlin.  In No More Christian Nice Guy, Paul Coughlin attempts to elevate
masculinity and battle the way Christians may have feminized what it
means to follow Jesus.

The book starts out by doing a great job of outlining the instances we find were Jesus is not all that nice.  He points out to us, that if we ask WWJD, sometimes the answer is picking fights and using sarcasm…hardly main stays of niceness.  We have made Jesus out to be a bearded woman.  (The title of chapter two)  Even if you don’t end up agreeing with his conclusions about the way men are supposed to live, the first couple of chapters are probably the best I have read regarding the niceness…or lack thereof…of God.  They will preach, bothers and sisters.

He then goes on to make a very provocative statement (my paraphrase)….that we encourage men to be nice in order to avoid true intimacy with God.  And unless men live out what it mens to be a man of God, they will miss out on that intimacy.  I wish he had spent more time fleshing this out but as best I call tell he defines intimacy with God as living out God’s plan for a man to be fully alive. 

His chapter on how men have been devalued by society is quite good too.  It is frank but not negative.  It states truth but does not create villains.

Coughlin goes on to talk about how failing to live out masculinity can hurt men and their families.  He claims that failing to be truly masculine can bring out insecurities in a family and crush the spirit of that man.  He also makes a strong case against the, "Husband as Butler" role it seems men are called to by the church. 

By far his chapter on sex, "We’re Men, not Eunuchs" is most provocative.  The part that will really jump out is when he takes on the notion that a lack of sexual activity in a marriage may not be due to a husband failing to serve his wife, but his wife neglecting her marital covenant.  (Not breaking, but neglecting)  He writes of the pain experienced by men when women are dispassionate about and uninterested in sex.  He then asks men to be more assertive in asking for what they really want.

Coughlin spends the last few chapters of the book giving men tools to be assertive in the workplace and at home.  (Not aggressive…assertive.)  He uses an illustration from American Idol that jumped out.  Simon…aggressive.  Paula…passive.  Randy…assertive.  (Just not the first two nights of the 2007 season!)

I really liked this book.  It made me laugh and think.  I would recommend going out and getting your hands on a copy and reading it along side Every Man’s Marriage for a compare and contrast. 

Happy reading!