As I mentioned this morning, I am at my denominational pastor’s meetings this week. I am currently hiding across the street from the hotel at a Barnes & Noble…doing my best to use the faint signal of the 16th Street Mall free WiFi signal.

It is always fun to be away from the grind for a few days but I also get sick of eating in restaurants, glad-handing, and pretending to be interested in a person I will never talk to again.

One of the things I do really like about conferences is the ideas I get in a seminar or main session. (and the book recommendations!) Usually I only want a day or two of ideas…not four or five.

On the first night of this conference I was hit between the eyes with a two by four of an idea….the idea that pastor’s are frequently only interested in people as it relates to the programs or churches they run. As for me, guilty as charged.

The speaker the first night was Chap Clark of Fuller Seminary. He was speaking specifically about teens, but as adolescence is elongating and post-modernity is taking root, I believe it applies quite powerfully to both.

Teens, and I believe adults, have a part of them that reject any system or person that tries to control them. So, if a person perceives that our interest in them is based only on what they can do for us they are going to push back, reject our message, and us. If they understand or believe we are calling them only because we want them to show up again, we might as well kiss our chances of being a pastoral voice in their life good-bye.

As I think back on my ministry, all to often my phone calls are based around what the person on the other end can do for the program I run. My care and concern for a person is based on the fact that they have not been in the service. Far to often I get mad at a person with whom I have given much time and then they don’t have the decency to repay me by attending worship.

I need, we all need, to get to a point where in the pastoral role we can love, listen, challenge, and correct without any other interest other than their best at heart.

Now, I am not suggesting we do away with encouraging people to attend worship services or programs. They do serve a vital function in the faith life of a church and of people, but what I am suggesting is that we need to be okay with loving a person. We should not give up creative advertising, but create our advertising with a vision of what a person can become if they participate.

It almost feels like, "if you lose your life, you will find it." If your heart is right, they will come.

As pastor’s we need to love with no stings attached. When we go with strings, people just get tangled up. Can we serve people and be okay with them not coming to church? Can we really mean it? Even the annoying people? After all, God’s people got souls…even annoying ones!

Am I alone in this?

Pray for me on this journey as I pray for you.