Have you ever had a person come into your office to complain about their spouse or their child and say something like, "why can’t they be more like so in so?"  And after the say it your want to grab them by the collar and say, "well  did you know that so in so is addicted to porn" or "so in so’s kid just was just arrested for underage drinking?"

We are so good at comparing what we know about ourselves with what we do not know about another person.

This morning I read an article by Dare2Share ministries that kind of got me in a surly mood.  It basically says that Mormons do a better job than Christians at discipling their teens because they expect more from their students.  It is lamenting our own problems (which are significant) and saying the solution is to be like that person over there.

Here are my thoughts.

  1. I agree with them that Mormons expect more from their teens than we do.  I also agree that we can and should expect more.
  2. I also agree that we get giddy when kids show up once a year to pray at a flagpole, but that is nothing compared with what Mormon kids are expected to do.

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  3. They write about teens leaving the faith after they are done being teens and imply that it does not happen to Mormons.  Sorry, it does.
  4. They lament the fact that the only mission work teens to is to build houses and not advancing the kingdom of God.  That is outrageous.  The Bible is clear that nations will be judged on how they serve the poor.  Religion our father considers pure looks after the widows and orphans.  In the book of Acts we see the church spending a great deal of time looking after the poor.  It is such a false distinction to say that these kinds of ministry are not advancing the kingdom.  Dropping in, handing out tracts, witnessing, and then disappearing does not advance the kingdom any more.  It might get converts, but does not advance the kingdom.
  5. While I am still disappointed that many church going kids can not explain the gospel clearly, many Mormon kids can not either.  I can name dozens of instances in my own life where I have talked to Mormon teens who can not clearly articulate their own belief system.  And I am not talking about the trivia about Joseph Smith we often try to trip Mormon missionaries up on, but basic tenants of their faith.  And these are kids who go to "seminary" at 6:00.
  6. I know a number of teens leave churches, go off to college, and drink.  But a number don’t. 
  7. What the Mormon church does is engage in a form of controlling socialization, not discipleship.  We could do that same thing, but that would not be ministry, that would be manipulation.  Discipleship is a work of the Spirit, not a work of isolation from the world.

Here is what I think is missing most in youth ministry.

1.  Addressing real issues.  We as Evangelicals get all worked up over things like Evolution, Politics, and sex.  (FYI…I am against teens having sex!)   Here is what I find gets kids fired up…addressing real problems.  My church has partnered with an orphanage in Mexico and are addressing real people in meaningful ways.  They are seeing that God is using them.  As they go off to college they still write to the kids and come up with ways to help.  Praying at the flagpole has it place, but kids see through the symbolism of it.

2.  Interaction with adults.  We make youth ministry artificial environments and then when kids finish school and they get into the "real" environment, it is different and foreign.  Let me rant here….I hate teen Sunday’s and refuse to do them.  I think parading kids up once or twice a year indirectly communicates that this is not a place for you on a regular basis.  We have teens sing on our worship teams along side adults, we have a couple of teens usher, and teens lead the fund raising charge for our church wide mission projects…with adults.  When teens see adults living out their faith as an adult it equips them to do the same.

3.  Consumerism.  We often teach kids, quite unintentionally, that faith is always fun and exciting.  Well you know what…it is not.  Most of our faith is lived out on a day to day basis…a normal day.  What kinds of decision do we make on a normal day?  What does it mean to pray when we don’t feel like it?  How do we get motivated to serve others without the hot band and fog machines?   In some ways I think while attending rallies like the ones that Dare2Share offers has a place, a steady diet of them teaches kids, again unintentionally, that if it is not exciting, God is not present.

I have met a couple Dare2Share people and now that they are well intentioned, sincere people.  They have a passion for equipping teens to do a more confrontational style of evangelism, which is clearly one of the Biblical models.  But sorry Dare2Share, the answer is not being like the Mormons.

Article found at: http://www.dare2share.org/stierstraight/why-morons-do-better-youth-ministry
(I assume the URL has an unintentional typo and they mean Mormons and not morons.  I suppose I would rather have a moron disciple kids than a Mormon.) 

Thanks to http://timschmoyer.com/2007/03/13/why-church-is-often-a-students-last-priority/ for pointing me to the article.